Let's talk about the Anti-Aging Movement and where it Needs to Go

Imagine redefining how you view aging—not as a battle to be fought but as a natural, beautiful process to be embraced.

Join me as we unravel the harmful narrative of the "anti-aging" movement and invite a shift towards self-acceptance at every stage of life. Explore how society's fixation on youthfulness creates unnecessary pressure and internal conflict. I'll share personal insights on how our bodies transform over time and how recognizing the normalcy of wrinkles can lead to a more fulfilling perspective on growing older. Let’s dismantle the myth that aging is undesirable and highlight the privilege it truly is.

In this supportive space, we celebrate the joys and wisdom that come with each passing year. Dive deeper into the conversation by connecting with our vibrant community through lemonbalmcoaching.com and our social media platforms—the Reignite Your Flame Facebook group awaits as a sanctuary for women seeking inspiration and camaraderie. Together, we can nurture joy, hope, and fresh outlooks as we craft the most beautiful chapters of our lives. Embrace being yourself—the greatest gift you can offer the world—and join us in looking forward to what's next.

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Chapters

• 0:06 Embracing Aging
• 12:45 Inspiration and Support for Women

Transcript

Melissa: 0:06

Today, I'm going to be stepping up on my soapbox because I want to talk about the anti-aging movement and where it needs to go. Welcome to the Lemon Balm Coaching Podcast, your cozy corner of the world where we'll sip on life's lessons and squeeze the most out of every moment. I'm Melissa, your coach, cheerleader and maybe even a little bit like that mom who always has a warm hug and the best advice waiting for you. If you're a woman over 40, feeling like life's left you a little lost, aimless or downright stuck, you're in the right place. This is where your joy, your freedom and your purpose come back into focus. Together, we'll laugh, learn and rediscover what makes you come alive. Because it's not too late, this is your time, so grab a cup of something warm, settle in and let's start creating the next most beautiful chapter of your life together. All right, so I know that in the intro to the podcast, it talks about this being that warm hug from your mom and that plate of cookies and all that awesome stuff the things that we're all looking for in a mom. But I think sometimes we need real talk as well, and that's what I want to do today. I want to talk about this whole anti-aging movement and where I think it needs to go. Because, let's be honest, if you're listening to this podcast, it's because you're aging, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with aging. It is the absolute natural process of life. So let's just talk about that real quick.

Melissa: 1:35

When my kids were little, I remember the first time I said this to my oldest son he was preteen teen right around that time. Well, I guess I don't remember preteen teen right around that time. Well, I guess I don't remember he was preteen at the time and I told him. I don't remember what we were talking about, but it was like. I told him. I said you know, the moment that we're born we actually start to die. And that's the truth, because the moment that we're born I mean really the moment that we're conceived cells start to generate, regenerate, generate, regenerate, die, regenerate, die, regenerate. Over and over and over again. This process of regeneration happens and as we age, that process just slows down, and that's the aging process. It's not that we're getting old and our bodies are falling apart, it's that we don't regenerate as quickly as we once did. And I remember telling my the same son he was almost 30. And I said to him I said oh, 30, 30 is an interesting time because all of a sudden your body stops regenerating as quickly as it once did. Now it's. That's been happening, it's been slowing down, but at 30, you really start to notice it. And we went camping as a family and I remember a few days after we were done camping he called and he goes I don't know what's going on, mom, I just I can't, I'm just feel so exhausted, I have no idea what's happening. And I said well, you're 30. And he goes what does that have to do with it? I said when you turn 30, you start to notice this process of slowing down. Your cells just don't regenerate as quickly.

Melissa: 3:11

But even beyond the biological part, this whole anti-aging movement, anti-aging skincare, anti-aging supplements, anti-aging, anti, anti, anti I mean really words matter right, and when we say anti, that means we're against it and that's a negative statement. Anti is negative, so we're saying we're against aging, yet our bodies are naturally aging. So what does that do inside of you? What does that do mind, body and spirit? Well, it's actually creating a war inside your body. If I'm trying to do something wonderful and I'm over here saying no, no, no, anti, anti, anti, it's like there's this dichotomy, there's this pull, this push and pull that's that's not productive. So, anti-aging, this whole, this whole idea that wrinkles are bad, I don't understand. So, growing up, our mom taught us how to care for our skin and I don't remember her ever saying it was because she didn't want to get old. It was just because this is the only skin she's ever going to have and she wanted to take care of it.

Melissa: 4:28

And I feel like if you're putting on makeup to care for your skin, that's one thing, but if you're putting on all this stuff all over your face in an effort to stop the aging process, it's counterproductive. You're going to age and I think about, like, all the movie stars and stuff like that, the ones that still look like they're in their thirties even though they're in their sixties or seventies. You know that's not natural, right? I mean, let's be honest, that's not natural. That's airbrushing, that's makeup, that's facelifts, that's all of that stuff that the average person just doesn't have access to, right? Let's be honest, I don't have access to that. I'm not going to go and get a facelift, but I look at my face and I think to myself I look like a 55-year-old woman. I don't think there's anything wrong with looking like a 55-year-old woman, because I'm 55. And I think that's an okay thing. And then I think about all of the people that don't actually ever get a chance to be 55.

Melissa: 5:24

But this whole anti-aging, I don't like it. I was watching a commercial with my dad the other day and it was I don't even know what it was for. It was for men's skincare, men's skincare. We are so specific now, men's skincare and it was like men over 40 look in the mirror and see this and they pointed to a wrinkle when they could be seeing this. And they pointed to a model when men over 40 look into a mirror and see this and they point into a wrinkle when they could be seeing this. And they point into a model when men over 40 look into a mirror and see this and they point into the forehead wrinkles when they could be looking in a mirror and seeing this. And it was some airbrushed model. Again, I don't like it. I don't like it.

Melissa: 5:57

I feel like, if you are on this anti-aging bandwagon, that it's shameful. It's based in shame. It's based in shame. It's like shame on you for getting old, shame on you for having wrinkles, shame on you for having eyes that don't work as well as they once did. Shame on you for having gray hair. Shame on you for having stretch did. Shame on you for having gray hair. Shame on you for having stretch marks. Shame on you for having a little bit of flab. Shame on you for having a menopause belly.

Melissa: 6:39

It's based in shame, and shame is the lowest vibrational emotion on the chart on the spectrum, and when we operate from this place of shame, we're bringing our energetic vibration down. Yeah, every single one of us has a specific energetic vibration, a perfect vibration in this life. And when we have emotions like shame running through our body, when we have shameful thoughts, thoughts like shame on you for whatever and you can't tell me you haven't done that to yourself we beat ourselves up ridiculous amounts of time. We beat ourselves up over the tiniest little things like oh my gosh, a chin hair, or oh, look at the double chin, or whatever. When we beat ourselves up, we are at war with ourselves. We are creating war in our mind, body and spirit. And when we have that division, when we have that bifurcation within us, we're not operating at our true designed state. And when we are not operating at our true designed state. We're not giving to the world our very best. We're not showing up as our best. We're not showing up as who we were meant to be. That breaks my heart to think of all the years I've wasted, all of the years you have wasted beating yourself up over things you have zero control over.

Melissa: 8:12

In Steel Magnolias, when Dolly Parton's character says time marches on and eventually you realize it's marching right across your face, she's not wrong. Time marches on and the effects of time show up in our bodies. The effects of time show up on our skin and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a 55-year-old woman who has smile lines. Think about all of the times you smiled to get those lines. Think about all of the amazing experiences you've had in your life to give you the wrinkles that you have. Because what are the wrinkles I mean? Really, they're the lines in your face caused over time, just like crevices in the earth. Think about all of the times that you smiled. That's why you have those lines. Think about all of the times that you loved your kids so much that the worry lines were there. Think about all of that. That's aging.

Melissa: 9:14

There is nothing wrong with having lines on your face. There is nothing wrong with experiencing life to the fullest and having the skin to show for it. Experiencing life to the fullest and having the skin to show for it. Now, like I said earlier, if you're putting on stuff on your skin to care for your skin, that's one thing I mean. I put moisturizer on today because my skin was feeling dry, but we don't have to cover up who we are. We don't have to hide who we are anymore. You never had to hide who you were, but there was a part of you that believed you did to survive this life and that's okay. But we can let that go now. We can show up. We don't have to hide who we are. We don't have to cover up the lines on our faces anymore. On our faces anymore. Show up, be you, be 100% authentic you in every situation. Allow those lines to come through. Think about where you'll be 10 years from now, 20 years from now and, if the Lord allows, 30 years from now. Think about the lines of life.

Melissa: 10:25

This whole anti-aging movement, this whole idea that we have to chase after youth, is antiquated. It's outdated, it is no longer needed. You don't need it. I don't need it, and you know what All these people trying to get you to buy all their crap that's supposed to keep you young looking. They need to get over themselves and they need to just realize that we just want to be. We just want to be. We don't want to be shamed anymore for experiencing life and for growing older.

Melissa: 10:58

Because you know what? Not everybody gets to grow old. My brother passed away at 55. Gets to grow old. My brother passed away at 55. 55. I turned 55 last year. He didn't get to live past 55. Not everyone gets to get old. Not everyone has the privilege of getting smile lines on their faces. So wear your smile lines as a badge of honor, your stretch marks a badge of honor, your menopause belly. Just embrace it. Because you know what? The more we worry about that shit, the worse it gets. There's no reason for us to feel shame for existing as long as we have.

Melissa: 11:43

So I'm sick and tired of the anti-aging movement. I'm done with it, and I just wanted you guys to know that, and I wanted you guys to hear it from me first and, since we're here at the beginning of the podcast, I wanted you to know that sometimes I can get passionate, sometimes I can get salty. Sometimes I can get a little spicy, but when I get that way it's because I feel passionate about what it is that I'm talking about and I want you to hear it, and I want you to know it's coming from a place of love and I hope that you heard it. I hope that what I had to say today encouraged you and lifted you up and helped you realize that girl, girl, just be yourself, honey. Nobody needs you to pretend to be anything that you're not anymore. That is exhausting. Ain't nobody got time for that anymore. So show up, be yourself, embrace those smile lines and tell the anti-aging movement where to go.

Melissa: 12:45

Thanks so much for spending a little time with me today on the lemon balm coaching podcast. I hope you're walking away with something that sparks joy, hope or a fresh perspective for your journey. If you loved today's episode, let's keep the conversation going. You can find more inspiration, coaching tips and resources over at my website, lemonbalmcoachingcom. Don't forget to follow me on social media for encouragement and updates, and you'll find me on Instagram and Facebook at Lemon Balm Coaching. And hey, if you're looking for a supportive, uplifting community of amazing women just like you, come join us in the Reignite your Flame Facebook group. It's a safe welcoming space where we share, grow and cheer each other on, and you can find the link on my website or just search for Reignite your Flame on Facebook. Remember, honey, just be yourself. The world needs what only you have to offer. Take care and I'll see you in the next episode.