Soul Ties and Cords: Recognizing and Releasing Unhealthy Connections

Have you ever felt inexplicably drained after spending time with certain people? Or found yourself replaying conversations over and over long after they've ended? The heaviness you're carrying might not even be yours.

Soul ties represent emotional or spiritual entanglements that can profoundly impact our wellbeing. These connections can form through love, shared trauma, or even survival instincts. While soul ties can be positive, energetic cords—the invisible tethers that drain us—are inherently negative. They emerge from unhealed emotions and unhealthy attachments, often attaching to specific areas of our bodies like the gut (affecting identity), heart (emotional dependency), or brain (obsessive thoughts).

Freedom doesn't require cutting people off. Instead, it comes from untangling what was never yours to carry. The release process begins with awareness—asking what's draining you that you've mistaken for love or loyalty. Then comes intention—consciously severing these connections through affirmations that reclaim what's yours. Finally, seal the release by replacing broken ties with peace. For parents and caregivers, this understanding is particularly powerful. The "apron strings" necessary when our children or loved ones need our care shouldn't become invisible leashes as they (or we) grow.

Ready to explore your own holy release? Join our Reignite your Flame community or book a personal session to identify and release the ties holding you back. Because you weren't designed to live entangled with everyone in your life—you were made for freedom, clarity, and love that flows from wholeness, not fear.

It’s time to rediscover YOU. Join the Reignite Your Flame Facebook group—a supportive community where women like you find peace, joy, and purpose. Together, we’ll nurture your mind, body, and spirit so you can shine again.  Don’t wait to start your journey back to yourself. 
Join Reignite Your Flame HERE

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Holy Release
• 1:50 Understanding Soul Ties and Cords
• 3:49 Signs You Have Unhealthy Connections
• 7:29 How to Release Soul Ties
• 13:20 Message for Parents and Caregivers
• 16:32 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hello, my friend, and welcome back to the podcast. Today I want to step into a conversation that might feel a little bit tender but also super deeply freeing, and I call it a holy release. I was first introduced to the concept of soul ties years ago through a Stacey Eldridge book. She's the author of Captivating and Becoming Myself. These are two books that I honestly think every woman should read, if not dive into the study of it. Stacey's words cracked something open in me. It was an awareness that sometimes the heaviness I was carrying wasn't mine. And then later, as I trained in the body code, I started to understand this on an even deeper energetic level, and I want you to hear this Freedom doesn't come from cutting people off. You do not have to cut people off. Freedom comes from untangling what was never yours to carry in the first place.

Speaker 1: 1:10

Welcome to the Lemon Balm Coaching Podcast. I'm Melissa, your coach, cheerleader and maybe even a little bit like that mom who always has a warm hug and the best advice waiting for you. If you're a woman over 40 feeling like life's left you a little lost, aimless or downright stuck, you're in the right place. This is where your joy, your freedom and your purpose come back into focus. So grab a cup of something warm, settle in and let's start creating the next most beautiful chapter of your life together. Okay, so are you ready for this? I want to try and make this as plain as I possibly can during this episode.

Speaker 1: 1:47

Let's first talk about a soul tie. A soul tie is an emotional or spiritual entanglement with another person. This is when two lives get knotted together in a jumbled up ball of twine in a way. That's not healthy or holy, but sometimes it's born out of love. You can create a soul tie out of love. Sometimes these ties are created around trauma, shared trauma, and sometimes these ties are created just because of survival. Right, we are designed for love, safety and belonging, so sometimes our soul ties can come from that belonging. Now, a cord, on the other hand, is an energetic version of that soul tie. We're talking about energy all the way around, but a cord is like a tether running between you and another person. It's invisible, right, we can't see this. It's not like you can look at two people and see that they're corded together. But it's energetic and it's spiritual. It is there. But here's the kicker about cords Cords are inherently negative. A soul tie can be born out of love. But a chord is inherently negative. It's not neutral, it's not positive, they're not sacred. They form chords form from unhealed emotions, from unhealed trauma, from unhealthy attachments, from unhealed trauma, from unhealthy attachments, even from good intentions that have gone sideways. So God's kind of connection always respects boundaries. Good connections, soul ties, good positive soul ties these respect boundaries but cords do not.

Speaker 1: 3:43

But how do you know if you are carrying around soul ties or if you are corded with someone else? Let me see if I can paint some pictures. I like visuals, I like stories. They help make sense of things.

Speaker 1: 3:58

Have you ever had an encounter with someone and after that encounter you're replaying the conversations over and over and over and over again, replaying the conversations long after that person has left the room, long after that person has left your life? You keep coming back. You keep coming back over and over and over. This can be an indicator that there's an unhealthy soul tie or even a cord with that person. Have you ever had obsessive thoughts about what you should have said, could have said, should have done, could have done differently? This is another indicator that there could be soul ties or cords. Have you ever felt your mood like instantaneously shift when another person is mentioned, or walks in the room Like everything's fine, and then you hear that person's name, or you see them out of the corner of your eye and everything inside of you flips. You feel drained, you feel heavy, you might even feel angry or even small, just because that person's name was spoken, or they walk in the room instantaneously. You feel this way. That is a good indicator that there could be a cord or a soul tie.

Speaker 1: 5:30

Have you ever felt stuck to someone that you're no longer physically connected to? I've had that happen. Long after this person has left my life, I feel like I'm still stuck to them. It could be maybe an ex, maybe a parent, maybe even a friend. They've left your life, they're no longer inside your relational intelligence circle, and yet you still feel stuck to them, like you can't shake them off. Or maybe it's the opposite You're still in the relationship, but you feel emotionally strangled, like there's no room for you to breathe.

Speaker 1: 6:08

All of these things can be indicators that there's a soul tie or a cord that needs to be released. I want you to hear me, friend you can deeply love someone and still need to untangle healthy ties. You could have a relationship with someone Maybe it's a sibling, maybe it's a parent and you deeply love them and you don't want to cut them off right, we don't want to cut people off but you know that there's something unhealthy in that relationship. You can still untangle unhealthy ties and remain connected to that person. Now this is where I want to make something really, really clear. Not all ties are holy. Not every bond is a good bond. The cords that I've talked about. These are survival-based. They are subconscious, they're draining. Cords are not about love. They're about fear and control and unfinished business. And even the relationships that began in love can become limiting if they're fueled by fear or control or unresolved grief.

Speaker 1: 7:21

Through the body code work, I've seen where cords often attach in the body. This is a really cool thing about the body code. Once we've decoded a trapped energy, we can actually ask the subconscious, can actually ask the subconscious where in the body is that energy stuck? Or, in the case of a cord, where in the body is that cord attached? So I've seen the cords attached to different areas in the body. One of the places that a cord can become attached is in the gut, right at your belly button, and this is where your sense of identity, your sense of control gets tangled up with the other person. You'll hear that your sense of identity gets tangled up with that other person. We can see cords attached at the heart. This is like where that emotional dependency comes in, right, codependency. I can't function, I can't live without them.

Speaker 1: 8:26

Sometimes a cord can get connected at the brain. This is where you find yourself replaying those conversations over and over again. These are those mental loops, obsessive thoughts and even confusion. I want you to hear that If you are corded with someone else at the brain, there can be confusion happening whenever that person is around. Sometimes a cord can get attached at the neck and for those of us who feel like we can't speak, that our words don't matter, that we're being silenced or oppressed, there could be a cord attached at the neck and cords can even get attached at the genitals, right? This can happen during sexual trauma or unhealed sexual relationships. Holy connections respect boundaries, but cords invade them. So how do you release these ties? How do you let go of these soul ties or these cords? So there's a process I'll just walk you through real quick, and it's the process I guide my clients through as well.

Speaker 1: 9:38

Step one is always around awareness. Step one is always about clarity and figuring it out right. If we don't know what the issue is, how can we address the issue? So step one is to ask. Ask for revelation, ask God to show you what is going on, like when you're feeling a certain way like. Ask you know God, show me where I'm entangled, reveal what's draining me that I've mistaken for love and loyalty or holiness, because awareness is everything. I'll say it again If you don't know, there is a problem, how can you fix it? So become aware, ask. The scriptures say we have not because we ask not. I tell my clients all the time ask, ask, ask, ask.

Speaker 1: 10:28

Step two is all about intention. We want to magnify our intention to release this soul tie, release this cord. First, you ask God what is it? Second, you pray, I sever every unhealthy soul tie or cord between myself and name the person. Name the person that you have this soul tie with or this cord with, so you might know who the person is that you've got this cord or this soul tie with. But there may be other people that you have cords or soul ties with that haven't been revealed to you yet. So name the person that you know that you have this cord or soul tie with. I sever every unhealthy soul tie or cord between myself and name the person and I reclaim what's mine and release what isn't.

Speaker 1: 11:27

Say it out, loud Words have power, the words that we speak have power. And then you want to support that release. Right, we're letting things go. When you release something, it's released, it's done, but we can support those releases. One of the things I like to do is diffuse some essential oils, some grounding essential oils. I've got one of my favorite blends right now which is blood orange and patchouli. Patchouli is very grounding and you can journal about it. Right, a lot of people love to journal, write down what ties am I ready to release? What ties am I ready to let go of?

Speaker 1: 12:11

Step three, you want to seal it in. You want to seal in with peace. I replace every broken tie with your perfect peace. We were designed for community and connection, not negative community and connection, not the kind that's draining, which is what the courting is, or unhealthy soul ties. We want to love from freedom and not fear. So I replace every broken tie with your connection and your perfect peace. This is the holy part. This is the holy part of the release right. It's allowing God to fill up the space that only he can fill. This is a conversation I've had a lot recently. There's only one thing that can fill the void that exists in your heart. You know the void is there. We try to fill it with many other things a lot of times, with soul ties and cords but there's only one that can fill that void that exists. Next, I want to talk specifically to moms and caregivers, which I'm both. My kids are all grown, but now I'm a caregiver for my dad.

Speaker 1: 13:27

Let's talk about apron strings, literal ties, literal ties that we have with those in our care. Apron strings are actually a beautiful thing when our kids are small, because our kids need our attunement. Our kids need our co-regulation. When they're little, they need us to teach them how to exist in this world. If we're not careful, those apron strings become invisible leashes. I don't know if you remember, but back in the late 80s, early 90s and it might still be a thing today, I don't know parents would actually put leashes on their children. Right, they would have a little thing around their wrist and a leash that they would hold on to. That is an actual beautiful representation of what we're talking about.

Speaker 1: 14:16

When they're little, when they're little, little like that, I mean, we're scared to death that they're going to run off, that they're going to be taken. So we put either a literal or a figurative leash around them. But if we're not careful and we don't let that leash looser as they grow and untie it as they're grown, we become chained to them through these soul ties. And you know, when your kids are little, you can absolutely guide them. That is our job as parents. But we do not want to be chained to them as they grow, as they leave the nest, as they move off into their lives and as caregivers. Right, I can love my dad without carrying his burdens as my own. You can love your parents, whom you care for, without taking on their burdens. You can honor a spouse without living strangled by their expectations.

Speaker 1: 15:18

I have several clients that are coming to mind even as I say those words. And remember, releasing these ties, releasing these cords, isn't abandoning them, it's not throwing our children to the wolves, it's not leaving our parents in their time of need. It's actually trusting that the one who designed them is going to care for them. And as you release soul ties. As you release courting, as you walk through your healing journey, you're actually giving permission to those around you, those who are connected to you, those who are in your circle of influence. You're giving them permission to find their path toward healing and freedom as well. So just a final reminder you were not designed to live entangled in a ball of naughty yarn with everyone in your life. You were actually designed to live an abundant and free life, and this holy release I'll say it again isn't about cutting them off, it's not about throwing them to the wolves. It's really about returning to the freedom that God designed you for. It's about untangling your soul from theirs so that you can walk in peace and clarity and love that flows from freedom, not fear.

Speaker 1: 16:45

So take a deep breath with me. You don't have to close your eyes or anything. Just take a nice deep belly breath, let your belly relax. I want you to ask yourself who or what needs to be released today, and as you do that releasing, may the Spirit of God meet you in that space and remind you that you are whole, you are worthy, you are free and you are deeply loved.

Speaker 1: 17:20

Now, if this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who needs this reminder and if you know you're carrying ties that you can't untangle on your own. That's kind of why I'm here. I'd love to help you, I'd love to support you, I'd love to walk with you, and you can connect with me inside my Reignite your Flame community on Facebook, or you can book an emotion or body code session and I'll share that link in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening today. I am truly honored that you've spent this time with me and I hope you're walking away with something that brings you a little more peace, clarity and hope.

Speaker 1: 18:00

If you wanna keep the conversation going, you can connect with me over on Instagram at Lemon Balm Coaching, or join our free Facebook community, reignite your Flame. It's where soul tired women gather to find support, inspiration and real tools for their journey. You'll also find information at lemonbalmcoachingcom. If you enjoyed this episode, go ahead and follow the podcast, leave a quick review and share it with a friend who needs to hear the message. Every follow, review and share helps more women discover that they were designed to thrive. Until next time, keep breathing, keep leaning into what matters and keep choosing peace.